Facebook Fast Day 2

I never realized how many times I get on Facebook: when I'm waiting to do something, when I'm alone, when I'm bored, when I want to get comfort from others in knowing tangibles are there when I need approval, I just post a status. The first thing I do with a computer is type in my login for Facebook as routine, not even noticing I'm doing it. Without being on Facebook so much time has been wasted and I don't even know what to do with this time. Facebook is an idol for me it controls me, that it's not even a second thought of going to Facebook. I check it for comfort, and I seek approval with statuses. I don't have this strong "I need to get on Facebook right now" desire to just login but I do miss it. I do somewhat long for it and count how many days it is until I get to login. I've thought about many "brilliant" statuses to put on Facebook. I've thought about Facebook and everything about it in times I could've thought about God and everything about Him. Even when I don't have Facebook I'm not looking to Him, but other things like email: how many times can I check my email a day, expecting to see new ones just like statuses. I look to my phone and TV. I look to other things that aren't God. Why is that? More Idolatry-more idolatry and yet I don't feel the weight of your glory and don't care about your beauty. I pray for unbelief in the Gospel that I have yet to fully understand and grasp and seek. I ask for you to break me, help me to run to you instead of away. When I am alone help my heart wander to you in my thoughts, in my living, in my heart. God let this not be a fast, that is reliant on myself because I will fail, because this would be meaningless and I might as well stop doing this now. Please reveal yourself to me, let me listen and know you more. Let my desire and longing be yours. I feel lately I've been relying on myself, giving myself applause from things that are yours-things I'm learning, talent, things I'm doing. I can't rely on myself to get this right. I can't rely on myself to bring me back to you. I can't rely on myself to understand what I can't. I can't rely on myself-but I have been. God, help me feel this desperation and hope in you-my words ring true, but does my heart? I love you for your grace and mercy!!

It won't be long until we meet again

This past BUSY week consisted of not just the usual school but two fundraisers for my mission trip to Thailand. One of them was "Crafting for Missions" "Crafts, Oh Crafts how I just love thee!" God has been providing so much during this fundraising process leading up to my leaving...MUCH MORE THAN I COULD EVER IMAGINE! God blessed me with the best friends in the world donated their time and efforts to this night, and I am so thankful for them! Remembering back to last night and the people that God brought to craft night were perfect; just like Him to plan for something that extravagant! The day of crafts was so overwhelming I did not stop to see and soak in what God had done. I can say that everything that happened yesterday was about God. The conversations that were being had, the fellowshipping with the friends He has blessed us with, ministering to non-believers, the plethora of free craft supplies, food for our stomachs. Even the crafts were just reflections of who God is: the way he created us so differently (everyone's crafts), His love for us that we would have the desire to love Him and show it (crafts with verses or Jesus), reminders to rely on Him and pray for others (prayer string thing). Everything about this night brought glory to His name and kingdom. We raised over $100 this week to go toward my mission trip to Thailand-what a blessing!!! I have never seen anything like this!! Since I have accepted this mission trip He has definitely been strengthen my dependence and longing for Him. The more I see how beautiful His glory is the more I surrender to the things of this world and then....He blows me away and steals my heart again and again. I am so thankful that I can say "again and again".


I want to say thank you to all who are praying and supporting me on this journey!!

Here are some crafts that I made last night and are on sale at my EtsyShop:SticStic Store by withlove Alicia for my Mission Trip!



"The Lord is my portion", says my soul, therefore I will hope in Him. The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him."-Lementations 3:24-25

Growing up

Story number 3000000000000 of my life

After I woke up I made then decision to go get the Hep A shot I've been needing. After I prompted Kailin to jump into my car (for studying afterwards) we were off to the Denton County Health Department. My first frustration was that the clerk gave my a paper telling me to "fill this out" of every shot I'd had ever had and when. I turned it in coming to find out that I only needed to fill out the bottom part: ie my name, address, birthday, blah blah. Following was a rather heated conversation (from me really and just Kailin listening. After my "counseling session" had died down I then realized where my real frustration may have been coming from. I looked up the hours for the Health Department. I drove myself to the Health Department. I filled out my own paper work at the Health Department. I got the shot by myself at the Health Department. BUT I had never done anything like this without my mommy! Before I got my shot I told Kailin "If I get to pick a sticker, I hope they have Hello Kitty (my mom's favorite) cause I would pick that one. And I hope I get a lollipop too." Kailin just chuckled and nodded her head. Well, I'm sad to say that I did not get that choice of sticker and lollipop (another clue of me growing up) so I opted for Yogurt Story and telling my mom was the next best thing to her being there. Another step of growing up and closer to going to Thailand.

Idolatry

"Lord, this is a good thing, yet why have I made it so absolute?
What is it compared to You? If I have You, I don't have to have this. This cannot give me love and helps as You do. This is not my life-Jesus is my life. This is not my righteousness and worthiness. It cannot give me that-but You can and have."

-Tim Keller "Gospel in Life"

O death, where is your sting?

You were on the cross, my God, my God, alone, alone
You were on the cross, You died for us, alone, alone
You were on the cross, victorious, alone, alone



o death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
Our God is not dead, He's alive, He's alive