So today I went to the beach with my family. Oh how I have really missed the beach. And oh how I appreciate it a lot more! How I love Him more!! As I was treading in the water a few thoughts came to mind...
I looked out as far as I could beyond the point of the place I was in the ocean and OH MY GOODNESS God made this this and it was is just a small part of the ocean!! He made all of it, everything it and sustains the whole thing! And while I was sitting there, treading rather, my eyes were lifted to the sky and the beauty of it "picture perfect" clear blue sky and fluffy cotton candy clouds those were not man made, He made them! This whole day! The perfect weather, the beach, the oceans, the people, the animals. He planned every single thing about this day, not just in Corpus but the whole world, the universe!! OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!! What?? How?? I was like a little kid that was in such excitement, awe of the things I was seeing as if it were the first time I had seen them. It amazes me, how much we miss, so much that we take for granted and just act like we deserve it everyday and aren't thankful for these "simple" mercies and grace. Even though we are so selfish and sinful he never fails to remind us who He is...sometimes its a really big slap in the face or a gentle nudge like today, but nonetheless He thinks about us He cares enough for us that He reminds us!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
A "two-in-one" deal
So as ya'll can tell...I haven't done much blogging for a while. I do know that quite a few things have happened since then and now so I'm going to write about most of them in this one blog.
So Orientation: Oh my goodness blew me away!! I didn't really know what to expect but it was really really super fun. The things that we went through that weekend...everything that we did that weekend had a lesson to learn. I loved that I had no clue who 90% of these people were and we had made such a bond with each other! I never would've thought 9 months ago that I would be doing this or have any want to do this but in this weekend alone what God has done in my heart is just sooo amazing and only something that He could do. The whole weekend to meet people chasing after God and showing the love He has for us and each other...on in one weekend alone. *sigh* yeah it was good. Oh. Yeah. Probably on of the highlights...Andrea Eberly "the mom" crying...and Mika "the pro" rolling her eyes at her. really good.
Today I have exactly one week until I take of to Tahoe City. Even though I have a quite detailed schedule/idea (that's four pages long) of what will be going on there I don't have any expectations about what will be going on. I am nonetheless EXCITED for this life changing summer!! What I'll be witnessing to...to see what God will be doing in the city, in the church, every single person's heart...Ahhh!! Yay!!! lol!! Yay! Yay!<---did you just see/hear me do that...it just happened. That's really all I have to say about it for now. When I get there I'll be sharing more,don't worry.
Being home and seeing how that world goes on without you. Well. Duh. I think that I've accepted that. With God humbling my heart and letting me know that I am not the only one in the world but just a small tiny dot, I'm more so excited of for everyone's lives here and what God is doing with them and their hearts. I have seen so much growth in my life and change here as well, putting these two together...it goes together quite fittingly. Why do you think that is? This break has a different feel to it than the ones that I've taken, yes, even the one I took just two months ago. While writing this Psalm 1 came to mind (we read it at orientation) the contrast between those who follow Him and well...those who don't. I think that this season is just a high speed chase after Him, what He wants. Just warring with my sins and trying to get rid of myself and let Him take control of my thoughts, mouth, hands, and feet. And like Psalm 1 in return just being in awe of all of mighty, amazing, glorious things that He has done!! And having a sense of "no care" but just dependence and trust in Him, not panicking about what's to come but to really just come in knowing or expecting nothing and being flexible to His life not mine. God is so good to me and I do not deserve one bit of it!!
So Orientation: Oh my goodness blew me away!! I didn't really know what to expect but it was really really super fun. The things that we went through that weekend...everything that we did that weekend had a lesson to learn. I loved that I had no clue who 90% of these people were and we had made such a bond with each other! I never would've thought 9 months ago that I would be doing this or have any want to do this but in this weekend alone what God has done in my heart is just sooo amazing and only something that He could do. The whole weekend to meet people chasing after God and showing the love He has for us and each other...on in one weekend alone. *sigh* yeah it was good. Oh. Yeah. Probably on of the highlights...Andrea Eberly "the mom" crying...and Mika "the pro" rolling her eyes at her. really good.
Today I have exactly one week until I take of to Tahoe City. Even though I have a quite detailed schedule/idea (that's four pages long) of what will be going on there I don't have any expectations about what will be going on. I am nonetheless EXCITED for this life changing summer!! What I'll be witnessing to...to see what God will be doing in the city, in the church, every single person's heart...Ahhh!! Yay!!! lol!! Yay! Yay!<---did you just see/hear me do that...it just happened. That's really all I have to say about it for now. When I get there I'll be sharing more,don't worry.
Being home and seeing how that world goes on without you. Well. Duh. I think that I've accepted that. With God humbling my heart and letting me know that I am not the only one in the world but just a small tiny dot, I'm more so excited of for everyone's lives here and what God is doing with them and their hearts. I have seen so much growth in my life and change here as well, putting these two together...it goes together quite fittingly. Why do you think that is? This break has a different feel to it than the ones that I've taken, yes, even the one I took just two months ago. While writing this Psalm 1 came to mind (we read it at orientation) the contrast between those who follow Him and well...those who don't. I think that this season is just a high speed chase after Him, what He wants. Just warring with my sins and trying to get rid of myself and let Him take control of my thoughts, mouth, hands, and feet. And like Psalm 1 in return just being in awe of all of mighty, amazing, glorious things that He has done!! And having a sense of "no care" but just dependence and trust in Him, not panicking about what's to come but to really just come in knowing or expecting nothing and being flexible to His life not mine. God is so good to me and I do not deserve one bit of it!!
Monday, May 10, 2010
something Heavenly
It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly
Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly
Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly (2x)
It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
This song I feel 100%; especially the chorus. I do not really know how to describe how I've been feeling when I've walked through the doors to church for the past month. Whether it be the sermon choking me up first, the tears just flow during worship and after. I had a much needed breaking down repentant surrendering talk with God last week...not that God doesn't work in your heart ever, I really feel like there's chaos going on in there that I can't control or explain at the moment but only surrender to Him. It seems the closer I get to Him, listen to His words in podcasts, truly worship Him it seems as though somethings don't seem to be in my line of sight. Though sometimes I don't understand what I'm reading or can apply what I've heard at that very moment I have no doubt that He will provide an opportunity for it to be so. I'm excited for what He is doing in my heart but kinda scarred only because I don't know what's going on. BUT that's neither here nor there and it is very much ok for me not to know everything because I'm not supposed to all the time but just trusting in His plans that they are greater than anything I could ever do or plan; that's faith. Oh how that will glorify Him! *sigh* :DD
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly
Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly
Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly (2x)
It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
This song I feel 100%; especially the chorus. I do not really know how to describe how I've been feeling when I've walked through the doors to church for the past month. Whether it be the sermon choking me up first, the tears just flow during worship and after. I had a much needed breaking down repentant surrendering talk with God last week...not that God doesn't work in your heart ever, I really feel like there's chaos going on in there that I can't control or explain at the moment but only surrender to Him. It seems the closer I get to Him, listen to His words in podcasts, truly worship Him it seems as though somethings don't seem to be in my line of sight. Though sometimes I don't understand what I'm reading or can apply what I've heard at that very moment I have no doubt that He will provide an opportunity for it to be so. I'm excited for what He is doing in my heart but kinda scarred only because I don't know what's going on. BUT that's neither here nor there and it is very much ok for me not to know everything because I'm not supposed to all the time but just trusting in His plans that they are greater than anything I could ever do or plan; that's faith. Oh how that will glorify Him! *sigh* :DD
Saturday, May 8, 2010
from the Inside looking Out
Then:
"For as much as she stumbled she's runnin'
For as much as she runs she's still here
Always hoping to find something quicker than heaven
To make the damage of her days disappear"-Eli Young Band (Guinevere)
So this school year, my first year of college is coming to end. I survived solely by the abundant grace and mercy of Christ. I have been thinking quite a lot about this year...all the way back to August; and wow! All of the things that Christ has done in my life. I cannot image how it would've been if, He hadn't told me last summer that it was time for us start moving and stop being stagnate on this walk...and I don't think I would've imagined anything near where I am now. I am so glad that our thoughts are not His, our plans are not His, but He is much greater than us in all aspects. We would be...well that would suck if that weren't true and well then we wouldn't need a God, right?
(Ok. Ok. Focusing.) This may sound cliche but it was this year that I started to seek Him and who He wanted me to be, and also put some things into motion that I had already began realize I needed to do (but didn't want to). I think about the wonderful people and...not so people I have encountered this year. Every single one of them has or had a purpose in my life and I would like to think (hope) I have or had one in their. The effects of coming in contact with these people helped me grow in perspectives of different people, and how people should be treated and also helped my somewhat distorted view of love and tolerance.
I say the wonderful and the not so wonderful because giving up your life everyday does not mean sunshine and rainbows, but rather I believe something more, something real, something hard. As you know I got a tattoo on my foot with the verse "Mark 8:34-35" but with that permanently on my body, with my bible within reach, and with that hidden on my heart it is still so so sooo hard to live by. The thought of dying to ourselves and making war with our sins every. single. day. that does not scream sunshine and rainbows to me. Well anyway back to "wonder and not so..." well, for the fact that every one of those people have in turn helped me get closer to and maturing me to me more Christlike. And the wonderful...I don't really think I need to explain why. Yeah.
How God had planned every single detail to this year before I even knew right down to the words that I would say and the words I would hear others say is beyond unfathomable! It sometimes gets hard to actually see what's going on with our lives so we have people who love us and keep us accountable or encourage us and let us know and its then we are reminded that we should pause and stop looking from the inside out and like like them on the outside looking inside at us. I had to take a step outside to look from their prospective and well...stop being selfish and get rid of the chaos to see ALL the beauty that God has done within my heart.
The song 'Guinevere' from the Eli Young Band kinda like 98% describe who I was then...(check it out). And the Philippians verse is kinda 100% of who I am and who I want to keep being now.
Now:
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus-Philippians 3:12-14
"Goals"(no particular order):
Turn up the outgoing level for ministering
Serving others a lot more (physically and verbally)
Be more involved in church family
Keep making war with my sins
Fall deeper in love with God
Dissolving bitterness/selfishness because of my gift of singleness
...Go to the library more
"For as much as she stumbled she's runnin'
For as much as she runs she's still here
Always hoping to find something quicker than heaven
To make the damage of her days disappear"-Eli Young Band (Guinevere)
So this school year, my first year of college is coming to end. I survived solely by the abundant grace and mercy of Christ. I have been thinking quite a lot about this year...all the way back to August; and wow! All of the things that Christ has done in my life. I cannot image how it would've been if, He hadn't told me last summer that it was time for us start moving and stop being stagnate on this walk...and I don't think I would've imagined anything near where I am now. I am so glad that our thoughts are not His, our plans are not His, but He is much greater than us in all aspects. We would be...well that would suck if that weren't true and well then we wouldn't need a God, right?
(Ok. Ok. Focusing.) This may sound cliche but it was this year that I started to seek Him and who He wanted me to be, and also put some things into motion that I had already began realize I needed to do (but didn't want to). I think about the wonderful people and...not so people I have encountered this year. Every single one of them has or had a purpose in my life and I would like to think (hope) I have or had one in their. The effects of coming in contact with these people helped me grow in perspectives of different people, and how people should be treated and also helped my somewhat distorted view of love and tolerance.
I say the wonderful and the not so wonderful because giving up your life everyday does not mean sunshine and rainbows, but rather I believe something more, something real, something hard. As you know I got a tattoo on my foot with the verse "Mark 8:34-35" but with that permanently on my body, with my bible within reach, and with that hidden on my heart it is still so so sooo hard to live by. The thought of dying to ourselves and making war with our sins every. single. day. that does not scream sunshine and rainbows to me. Well anyway back to "wonder and not so..." well, for the fact that every one of those people have in turn helped me get closer to and maturing me to me more Christlike. And the wonderful...I don't really think I need to explain why. Yeah.
How God had planned every single detail to this year before I even knew right down to the words that I would say and the words I would hear others say is beyond unfathomable! It sometimes gets hard to actually see what's going on with our lives so we have people who love us and keep us accountable or encourage us and let us know and its then we are reminded that we should pause and stop looking from the inside out and like like them on the outside looking inside at us. I had to take a step outside to look from their prospective and well...stop being selfish and get rid of the chaos to see ALL the beauty that God has done within my heart.
The song 'Guinevere' from the Eli Young Band kinda like 98% describe who I was then...(check it out). And the Philippians verse is kinda 100% of who I am and who I want to keep being now.
Now:
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus-Philippians 3:12-14
"Goals"(no particular order):
Turn up the outgoing level for ministering
Serving others a lot more (physically and verbally)
Be more involved in church family
Keep making war with my sins
Fall deeper in love with God
Dissolving bitterness/selfishness because of my gift of singleness
...Go to the library more
Friday, May 7, 2010
Mission Ellen
So our PA Ellen is graduating this year and we decided to throw her a surprise party. We had so much fun and it was nice needed bonding time! The whole floor did not come (for various reasons) but she still enjoyed it. "Thank you to the BSM for helping us make this possible"-the 19th floor. Here are some pictures...
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